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Originally Posted by mwc/curiousnc  Great reply, and I thank you!! I know I would not have any trouble striping down and having sex with my wife in front of other people. She may. BUT, she is the one suggested that it may be fun to be in the room and watch another couple(s). So, if we did ever pursue this and we did nothing but watch and she liked it then who knows what would happen the next time!! |
You two need to sit down and talk about a number of things. I think you're more ready than you think, but that's just my opinion. You need to talk about your personal limits, rules, and what you both expect to get out of the experience. In the long run, what's important here is your happiness as a couple.
Having that in mind, what do you hope to achieve by delving into the lifestyle - even a little bit? Are you hoping to find a couple that thinks the way you do, and maybe if you all hit it off, you can explore things at your own pace? Are you looking for an experienced couple who can take you under their wing and teach you all about the lifestyle? Are either of you trying to make up for something lacking in your sex life?
These are the kinds of questions you have to ask yourselves before you ask each other the same questions. You - the male - have to be able to ask yourself if you can stand the thought of another man touching your SO in her most private places - even if you don't plan on that happening. You - the female - have to be able to ask yourself if you will get mad at him if he gets an erection when he sees her naked for the first time.
See what I mean? There are all kinds of questions. You two need to really think and TALK this out before you go any further.
Yes, you can go to an on-premise swing club and watch people have sex. You can also rent a porno movie and watch people have sex.
You are the only people who know what you really want. You are also the only ones who know how deep you really want to jump into this pool.
Personally, I think going to an on-premise swing club is pretty harmless. If anyone approaches you, politely saying "no thanks" is perfectly acceptable. If you want to watch another couple have sex, that's acceptable too. If you want to have sex with only each other, that's fine too.
You two need to sit down and have a heart to heart talk about what you really want to get out of this before you make the second move toward doing anything. The second move? Well - your first move was registering here and posting this thread.
Please do keep us all advised as to what you ultimately decide. We don't really know you, but some of us do really care. I know I speak for a lot of people here on the board when I say that nobody here wants you to do anything you don't really want to do. That, and we really do want to know if our advice helped you in any way.
I really wish you two the best, and no matter if you go any further than just thinking about it or decide to actually pursue it, please know that you're more than welcome here. This is the home of some of the finest people you'll ever meet online - whether you swing or not.
Nutshell: Talk to one anther about it - set some rules and limits - take baby steps - don't push - take your time - discuss some more - adjust from there - read this board - discuss some more. 'Nuff said.