The Swingers Board - View Single Post - First Time

MrkLin · 01-12-2009, 12:17 PM

Ok, I have to ask - what kind of parties are you talking about? If you mean on-premise swing clubs, then the answer is yes - watching is allowed. Some folks go to this type of club just to be watched.

If, however, you mean a house party, then you should know that most people invited to such a party are usually considered to be swingers, of one variety or another, and as such should be open to playing with another couple in one way or another.

That means that if you're not sure you can handle the idea of your SO having sex with someone other that you, then you might want to think about doing something else that weekend.

Be very careful here - swingers tend to have some cut and dried terms when it comes to our lifestyle. For instance - just the word 'playing' means 'to have sex.'

Ok, off my soap box.

What you're describing is known as 'soft swinging.' That means that you will only have sex with your partner, but maybe in the same room as another couple who are also having sex. You might tease, flirt, pet, or otherwise excite someone other than your partner, but when it comes down to 'doing the deed,' you only do that with your partner.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with that!

Just know that there are varying degrees of swinging, just as there are varying degrees of sex in general.

Still, the fact that she is talking about it to you indicates a certain interest in the subject. What do you think? Do you think it would be a turn on to watch another couple have sex right there in front of you? Would you be hesitant to get naked with your partner and have sex with her in front of the other couple?

You're the best judge of what's acceptable to you.

I must also say that the fact that she's so willing to talk about something like this to you means she has a lot of confidence in you. She trusts you. She knows that you're not going to fly off the handle when you hear about such things - a lot of women don't know that about their partners.

I'll tell you right up front that you've already taken the first step - you registered here, and you're asking questions. Bravo! You're two steps ahead of others who don't have the guts to do that. From here on out, let me recommend that you take baby steps - talk to one another, learn about your fantasies, learn from one another, and enjoy the process of figuring out exactly what you want.

You already know that you have "zero clue" about swinging. You may never become a 'full-swap couple' - know that going in. Read the posts on this board, discuss them, have fun with each other, and learn what you can. If you have any questions at all, by all means, ask them.

Always remember, however, that at the end of the day, it's what makes the two of you happy - no matter what it is.

01-12-2009, 12:17 PM	#3 (permalink)
MrkLin Your Tent or Ours? Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 706 Location: mm Status: Couple	Re: First Time - Watching? Ok, I have to ask - what kind of parties are you talking about? If you mean on-premise swing clubs, then the answer is yes - watching is allowed. Some folks go to this type of club just to be watched. If, however, you mean a house party, then you should know that most people invited to such a party are usually considered to be swingers, of one variety or another, and as such should be open to playing with another couple in one way or another. That means that if you're not sure you can handle the idea of your SO having sex with someone other that you, then you might want to think about doing something else that weekend. Be very careful here - swingers tend to have some cut and dried terms when it comes to our lifestyle. For instance - just the word 'playing' means 'to have sex.' Ok, off my soap box. What you're describing is known as 'soft swinging.' That means that you will only have sex with your partner, but maybe in the same room as another couple who are also having sex. You might tease, flirt, pet, or otherwise excite someone other than your partner, but when it comes down to 'doing the deed,' you only do that with your partner. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that! Just know that there are varying degrees of swinging, just as there are varying degrees of sex in general. Still, the fact that she is talking about it to you indicates a certain interest in the subject. What do you think? Do you think it would be a turn on to watch another couple have sex right there in front of you? Would you be hesitant to get naked with your partner and have sex with her in front of the other couple? You're the best judge of what's acceptable to you. I must also say that the fact that she's so willing to talk about something like this to you means she has a lot of confidence in you. She trusts you. She knows that you're not going to fly off the handle when you hear about such things - a lot of women don't know that about their partners. I'll tell you right up front that you've already taken the first step - you registered here, and you're asking questions. Bravo! You're two steps ahead of others who don't have the guts to do that. From here on out, let me recommend that you take baby steps - talk to one another, learn about your fantasies, learn from one another, and enjoy the process of figuring out exactly what you want. You already know that you have "zero clue" about swinging. You may never become a 'full-swap couple' - know that going in. Read the posts on this board, discuss them, have fun with each other, and learn what you can. If you have any questions at all, by all means, ask them. Always remember, however, that at the end of the day, it's what makes the two of you happy - no matter what it is.