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do agree that we're doing the selecting so he should be less concerned about what the single guy wants...
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Not exactly true. Your husband should be more open with the single guys so they are on the same page. I know from experience that a big part of my enjoyment of swinging with couples is having the husband see me with his wife and sometimes direct me in what to do. But he has to be as comfortable talking to the single guy as you are having sex with the single guy. If he doesn't get to that comfort level, he will start to back away from swinging altogether. That may not be a bad thing, but it doesn't sound like something you want.
have fun out there and don't hurt anybody.