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babycole · 01-08-2009, 09:39 AM

Just an update, to maybe get this thread back on track????

After talking to my hubby more about this, he doesn't want me to completely write this guy off. We are still just gonna take this in baby steps. And it may just end up being that we can only be friends with this guy with no sexual interactions involved (which is just fine by me). His reasoning is because even though we are swingers who can seperate sex from feelings, he's worried that I won't be able to seperate it where this guy is concerned and that maybe that might not be a good thing. So for now, he wants to just become more involved in the friendship that I have with this guy and to kind of re-establish the friendship that he once had with this guy. Through our conversations, after having him read all the posts on here, I have come to realize that it's not an insecurity about our relationship, just a hesitancy on this situation. So, babysteps it is for us to see where it will take us. And in the meantime, I'll just be extra careful to not push anything, just to let it evolve as it may.

As far as Chicup's idea's on how the male mind is not wired for this kind of situation. And how it's unusual, and how several books have been written that support this theory. I have to say, I'm not so big on believing things just because they are written about. For instance, how many people in this world believe (and may have at one time taught or written on this subject) that monogamy is the only right way to live? However, many, many, many of us on this board would have to disagree with that. We have lived it and know that it can work when sex with other partners is involved in our relationships. I do believe that just because something isn't the norm in our less than normal world, doesn't mean that it's unusual or impossible. I mean, what is normal in our unusual world, right? Swinging? Poly? MFF Triads? MFM triads? MFMF quads? I mean, really, who's to say what's normal here? We are all unusual in a big way according to most of the rest of the world, right?

01-08-2009, 09:39 AM	#21 (permalink)
babycole Here to Stay Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 36 Location: Louisiana Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:babycole	Re: On the cusp... Just an update, to maybe get this thread back on track???? After talking to my hubby more about this, he doesn't want me to completely write this guy off. We are still just gonna take this in baby steps. And it may just end up being that we can only be friends with this guy with no sexual interactions involved (which is just fine by me). His reasoning is because even though we are swingers who can seperate sex from feelings, he's worried that I won't be able to seperate it where this guy is concerned and that maybe that might not be a good thing. So for now, he wants to just become more involved in the friendship that I have with this guy and to kind of re-establish the friendship that he once had with this guy. Through our conversations, after having him read all the posts on here, I have come to realize that it's not an insecurity about our relationship, just a hesitancy on this situation. So, babysteps it is for us to see where it will take us. And in the meantime, I'll just be extra careful to not push anything, just to let it evolve as it may. As far as Chicup's idea's on how the male mind is not wired for this kind of situation. And how it's unusual, and how several books have been written that support this theory. I have to say, I'm not so big on believing things just because they are written about. For instance, how many people in this world believe (and may have at one time taught or written on this subject) that monogamy is the only right way to live? However, many, many, many of us on this board would have to disagree with that. We have lived it and know that it can work when sex with other partners is involved in our relationships. I do believe that just because something isn't the norm in our less than normal world, doesn't mean that it's unusual or impossible. I mean, what is normal in our unusual world, right? Swinging? Poly? MFF Triads? MFM triads? MFMF quads? I mean, really, who's to say what's normal here? We are all unusual in a big way according to most of the rest of the world, right?