 Re: On the cusp...
When Mr. Ivory and I first got involved in swinging, I told him "you can sleep with other people but you can't get emotionally involved." But I've reconsidered this (although he hasn't come close to being emotionally involved yet so this is theoretical) and the reason is well expressed by the rule "If you fall in love you have to cut the guy off cold turkey."
In other words "You've managed the rare feat of finding someone to love, who loves you. I want you to destroy this wonderful connection because I'm worried it might negatively impact me."
This is not to suggest that your husband doesn't have a right to his feelings! Or that this might not be just a crush or a passing fancy or something else that can be set aside. But speaking personally, I hope that my love for my husband is such that I can be happy for him if he finds love and not see it as a threat to our relationship, but an enrichment of it (assuming, of course, that he doesn't leave me!).
After all, I have friends, I have a career, and these things take me away from him (especially the latter). And I certainly those who have children understand that loving more than one person and balancing needs is possible and even desirable!
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