[babycole]

Thanks for your responses and your good luck wishes! Not having the kind of poly, friends with benefits, etc. relationship with this guy is definitely an option! It's what has been so far. And I totally agree that it is especially important to move at the pace of the slowest person! And I'm not so much looking for advice on how to move hubby along or speed up the process of him deciding that this is in our best interest. I understand fully that he may never decide that taking it to that new level would be ok, and I am ok with that. What I am looking for is info on how to make him a little less insecure and more confident in our own relationship, which is a great one already! Maybe I am looking at this wrong? It just seems to me that his insecurities seem like either #1: That he's not as secure in our own relationship as he claims, or that #2: He hasn't fully grasped the possibility of more than one love? During our swinging experiences, I am always the one that tends to form the friendships, relationships, bonds, etc. while he could really care less about the people we play with. I guess saying that I am way more emotionally open than him would be appropriate. But, the part that bothers me more than the possibility that we may or may not have a poly situation blooming is that he possibly doesn't have the confidence in our relationship that I always thought we had. What are your thoughts?