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My Next 65 · 01-03-2009, 10:39 PM

I have said this before. Everyone has a persona, the person that others see us as being. We configure our thoughts and feelings to conform ourselves to that image. We become that person. We may actually have a different view of what we want, who we see ourselves as being buried deep beneath the expectations, the inhibitions and the social correctness of our environment. I think perhaps buried in all of us is a natural desire for sex that would not limit us to one partner or even one gender if it were not for all the reasons amassed over tens of thousands of years that has made marriage and fidelity and gender the norm. In todays world it is within our ability to protect all these reasons in our social life and let loose our inner desires with controlled abandon.
Those who swing find other swingers. They do not reveal themselves to vanilla friends who see them in their own image. Our wives would not strip naked before one of our vanilla friends because it is totally out of charachter and unexceptable behavior. Yet with the inhibitions lifted amoung other swingers who do not expect differently. she may strip, seduce and engage in sex with a number of men without an inhibition. I think there is a naturally born gene for sex. I think that the first step in releasing it is to find there is no sin of the flesh, no sin in the natural desire for sex. In marriage this has to be understood by both, that in a secure loving marriage of trust and dedication, it must be understood that nothing is lost or given away. It is part of life to be experienced as playtime, a passion to be felt with all the chemistry of pleasures it brings. The exhileration of running naked on a beach. A relationship between husband and wife is what each expects the other to be.
When a man and a wife can see that light, only then can it be. It cannot be coerced, it must come to light from the inner realization that it is nothing more than adults at play. How you show her that, I think, is to come to know each other beneath the inhibitations of persona.

I am not an advisor, I just play one on Swingers Board.

01-03-2009, 10:39 PM	#28 (permalink)
My Next 65 Active Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 16 Location: morris Ill Status: widower Swing Lifestyle Name:My next 65	Re: Trying to talk my wife into swinging I have said this before. Everyone has a persona, the person that others see us as being. We configure our thoughts and feelings to conform ourselves to that image. We become that person. We may actually have a different view of what we want, who we see ourselves as being buried deep beneath the expectations, the inhibitions and the social correctness of our environment. I think perhaps buried in all of us is a natural desire for sex that would not limit us to one partner or even one gender if it were not for all the reasons amassed over tens of thousands of years that has made marriage and fidelity and gender the norm. In todays world it is within our ability to protect all these reasons in our social life and let loose our inner desires with controlled abandon. Those who swing find other swingers. They do not reveal themselves to vanilla friends who see them in their own image. Our wives would not strip naked before one of our vanilla friends because it is totally out of charachter and unexceptable behavior. Yet with the inhibitions lifted amoung other swingers who do not expect differently. she may strip, seduce and engage in sex with a number of men without an inhibition. I think there is a naturally born gene for sex. I think that the first step in releasing it is to find there is no sin of the flesh, no sin in the natural desire for sex. In marriage this has to be understood by both, that in a secure loving marriage of trust and dedication, it must be understood that nothing is lost or given away. It is part of life to be experienced as playtime, a passion to be felt with all the chemistry of pleasures it brings. The exhileration of running naked on a beach. A relationship between husband and wife is what each expects the other to be. When a man and a wife can see that light, only then can it be. It cannot be coerced, it must come to light from the inner realization that it is nothing more than adults at play. How you show her that, I think, is to come to know each other beneath the inhibitations of persona. I am not an advisor, I just play one on Swingers Board.