Quote:
Originally Posted by lustylearning  My male counterpart and I are more guarded than my husband and his female counterpart. We tend to rely more on unspoken actions than verbal reassurance. |
I think this expresses a lot of my thoughts when reading your initial post. My thoughts were on communication (yours as a couple with them as a couple). It sounds like perhaps your husband and the other woman may have better verbal communication of their feelings and status than you do with the other man.
Have you discussed with the other man how you feel when he ignores you in favor of his next conquest? Have you discussed ways to get past this or to avoid it? Obviously, you said that you will no longer allow yourselves to be in these vanilla situations with them (where the type of situation with the singles can occur). It may be best if the 4 of you opt to keep your play/enjoyment of each other to a couple on couple basis. I'm not talking about being exclusive but just about not mixing your pleasures in such a way that you are with each other when other potential playmates are around. I would avoid visiting clubs together, for example.
Ideally, it would be best if you can come to the same terms with them that you have with your own spouses. You don't get jealous of your own husband when he is focused on a potential playmate. So try to think of how you go to that point with him. As someone else put it, jealousy is a fear of loss. You've gotten to the point with your husband where you love and trust him enough that you do not fear losing him. However, with this other couple, you are still worried that you are just a stepping stone on their way to the next playmates, and that some other couple might come along and replace you. If they truly feel the same way about you, then you should not have to worry about that. If you doubt how they feel about you, then you need to talk to them.