[IvoryTowers]

I'm sorry if I misread your post, although you didn't mention deployment just that they might have to be gone for some months due to "job obligations." Of course if they are deployed that says nothing about their feelings for you or vice versa!

And I certainly didn't mean to suggest that you've been hiding your feelings from your husband. Rather, if you had decided to take my advice and break of relations, you'd just need to be honest about why. That's all.

You are, of course, free not to take my advice. And I may be completely wrong and the other couple may feel as strongly towards you as you do towards them. Maybe all that's needed is some attitude adjustment on your part in terms of the man's flirtiness and everything will be fine.

It's just that you seemed very unhappy. You said the situation was one you "loathed" and that it took you a long time to admit you were in love. That it made you jealous and upset when he flirted with or pursued others. I was just trying to suggest a way out of situation that seemed to make you more miserable than happy.

Good luck with this couple. I hope you have a wonderful long term relationship with them if that's what you want. I have no experience managing a quad, so I'll shut up now.