 Re: Okay, here goes!
Is is that you love him/them, or just love being with him/them? The difference may be hard to determine but there is a difference and once you determine it I think you'll better handle your feelings.
You are finding yourself jealous when he flirts with others in front of you and I don't see this as unusual in your case; you see him as a (if not the) favorite playmate and when this happens you hope you are his favorite too. Am I correct?
I understand your feelings because very early on in our swinging I found myself hit by jealousy when with a couple for an outing who we would be playing with that night. When I saw him flirt with a vanilla I couldn't believe how it made me feel...jealous! I've never had a jealous bone in my body, yet here I was at this moment feeling jealous and also feeling it wasn't "respectful" to me to flirt with this woman when I felt I should have been his sole focus for that day of fun, flirting and sex.
What I did was mentally reset my button and told myself how silly I was being; we are swingers afterall, and I probably would have flirted with a vanilla guy that same day if I had the opportunity. After that I haven't had a problem with jealousy since.
I think it comes down to this. When you find someone to play with that is so special, may be THE most special person to have sex with (besides your spouse) you hope he feels the same way. If you don't think he does, there's that imbalance that doesn't feel good, a little sadness hits you, but you have to face that you are swingers and aren't exclusive. Both of you will be playing with other people.
My advice, continue to see this couple if you all are interested in doing so. But realize that to continue being with them and remain happy you'll have to push the reset button in your swinger mind and get rid of the jealousy. I think you can do that.
Good luck!
LM
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