[WesternSwing]

Your friends chickening-out is really no surprise to me. In our experience many men get weirded-out with the concept of being able to fuck someone else's wife and the husband being okay with it, much less being in the same room at the same time AND being naked. It's eros (maybe ego) overload for a man.

I wrote a long blog about this a while back, what I call "The Cheating Wife Syndrome", where men are turned-on by the concept of a cheating wife, but are freaked-out by the idea of a wife having permission to play, or even at the idea of meeting the husband.

That, and as you mentioned, when they are friends it makes it even weirder.

We've met many men through swinger dating sites and have "interviewed" each of them via dinner and drinks together as a threesome. On some occasions there has been enough chemistry that it's game-on that night. Other times it just hasn't been there and we move-on to the next candidate.

One thing that is important to us is that this is a process we do together. We both have to be comfortable with the other person, whether it's another man or woman. Also, just because I think a guy is a great candidate for a threesome with us doesn't mean that Mrs. WS will have any attraction to him. So having her part of the process of finding a third is paramount for us.

So my advice is to involve your wife in more of the process. That may make her more excited about it, also. This is a "us" thing, not just a "you" thing. Be partners in crime.

And as a final note, in our experience it is easier to make friends out of swingers than swingers out of friends.

Mr. WS