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Originally Posted by IvoryTowers  Sorry, but when I look at the quotes above, I don't believe this really is all about her. Yes, you are happy just watching, but you start out saying that she isn't as sexual as she looks (whatever that means). You go on to saying she finds the idea of lots of people degrading and while she's gone along with some of your ideas she's rejected anything pre-planned.
In other words, your convinced that if you just get her into a 'spontaneous' setting with incredibly hot and yet respectful/polite/well spoken people who all want to play with her, she'll give in and have a wild night. Well, d'uh! I think just about anyone would have an orgy under those circumstances but it ain't gonna happen. And it ain't about her. It's about you getting to see your wife act the way you want her to act.
Furthermore, it seems that you assume (or hope) that if this magical night happens, she'll be the one asking to do it again and again. Honestly, she'd probably see it as a magical one time experience and NOT want to repeat it.
Sorry to be harsh, but I think you need a dose of reality. If swinging is really important to you, then you need to have a serious talk (or many serious talks) with your wife and find out what she's really willing to do. Maybe the two of you can go to clubs and watch pretty people, then have hot sex on your own. Maybe more.
But if, as you say, your wife is everything to you, the one thing you should not be doing is assuming you know what's best for her, what's 'really' in her mind, and thus trying to find the perfect hot couple or scene that will make YOUR fantasy come true while pretending that you are just freeing her inner slut. |
Well, that IS pretty harsh, but I don't doubt any of its accuracy. It's hard to accept, but I guess that's why it hasn't worked out so far. Maybe I'm just not fully understanding how to reconcile our differences in what we'd like. Yes, I do feel like if the right situation happens, she'd want more. I'd heard that from a female who had gotten a taste at a nice resort and was dragging her husband back for more. He was just hanging back and watching her go. I guess I was hoping for that result because it would indicate my wife had found her sexual happy place, which seemed to be lagging, despite all my efforts. Maybe I just need to accept we're not the same, but it sure is difficult with the sex drive I have.
I don't want other women, I want her. Seeing her being wild just seems like such a cool thing. The bottom line is that I won't push her. I got excited about it before and we grew apart for a while, because she wasn't expressing herself to me. Since that's now fixed, she'll tell me what's attractive to her and what's not, rather than just trying to go along. When her preferences are not everything my horny mind invisions, I guess I just hope for more, like a little boy. We'll find our way. I do sincerely want her happy above all else and I appreciate everyone's input, even if it sounds harsh.
*Please don't take any offense by my discriptions of people. I was just trying to accurately discribe what she likes, because she does have a very narrow scope of attraction. Somehow, I guess I slipped through the cracks and she married me.