The Swingers Board - View Single Post - I kissed a girl and I liked it! Now ???'s

IndulgeNDivulge · 12-27-2008, 01:15 PM

Hey There,

Thanks for the replies!

To answer some of the questions:

When we were discussing swinging, I told my husband that I didn't want him to kiss anyone else. That is what I wanted to reserve between the two of us. I know, for some it doesn't make sense, but for me, it is important.

I am sexually attracted to her, or at least I get butterflies when she comes over, I get giddy and excited and miss her when she's not here. I can picture her kissing him and it doesn't bother me. I like the fact that we know her and are friends with her. It puts my mind at ease to know that it's not just any old woman. I am ok with the idea of them being emotionally involved. I wouldn't say I'm ready for them to be sexual without me present - that would happen in time - but I am ok with all three of us being sexually intimate.

In my previous post, I told you that my husband wanted more of a poly relationship and wouldn't mind if she lived with us. At this point in time, I wouldn't want to take that leap, yet. I have so many questions and concerns about that because I have children. They are my main concern. I would prefer to start a relationship without living together at first and then, if the relationship blossoms and becomes semi-permanent, I think I would be comfortable with it. I just don't want to expose my children to someone and then tear it away from them if it doesn't work out between the three of us. I hope this all makes sense.

Another thing? My husband said that we may be getting ahead of ourselves here. He was saying that things might change after I have been with a woman sexually. He said: "You don't even know if you like it yet" which got me thinking. If I kissed her, and such...and it turned me on, why wouldn't I like the rest of it? If I didn’t like being with her sexually, would it hinder a poly relationship between us? Is it a requirement for all three people to be sexual with each other to be considered a poly relationship?

Her ex knows many people in this town and at the moment, they have a mutual agreement concerning their son. They were never married and have been fully separated for about a year now, just interacting when it concerns their son, but I wouldn't want to do anything that could possibly give him power to get full custody. (He wouldn't be able to handle his son full time anyway, but I don't know what type of feelings he still has for and towards her).

I am super shy and I just don't know if I could make a move first. I have been asking all these questions and my husband, who isn't shy, was saying that we should ask her. She is shy too, so reading her is hard.

I am still a little confused with the responses. IvoryTowers, you say talk to her and ncmd_couple, you say continue the relationship and see where it goes. Do we ask her straight out or do we just hang out like we've been doing? I'm afraid that if we just keep hanging out, the door will be closed, and the other fear is losing the friendship if we ask her...

12-27-2008, 01:15 PM	#5 (permalink)
IndulgeNDivulge Registered Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 9 Location: California Status: Couple	Re: I kissed a girl and I liked it! Now ???'s Hey There, Thanks for the replies! To answer some of the questions: When we were discussing swinging, I told my husband that I didn't want him to kiss anyone else. That is what I wanted to reserve between the two of us. I know, for some it doesn't make sense, but for me, it is important. I am sexually attracted to her, or at least I get butterflies when she comes over, I get giddy and excited and miss her when she's not here. I can picture her kissing him and it doesn't bother me. I like the fact that we know her and are friends with her. It puts my mind at ease to know that it's not just any old woman. I am ok with the idea of them being emotionally involved. I wouldn't say I'm ready for them to be sexual without me present - that would happen in time - but I am ok with all three of us being sexually intimate. In my previous post, I told you that my husband wanted more of a poly relationship and wouldn't mind if she lived with us. At this point in time, I wouldn't want to take that leap, yet. I have so many questions and concerns about that because I have children. They are my main concern. I would prefer to start a relationship without living together at first and then, if the relationship blossoms and becomes semi-permanent, I think I would be comfortable with it. I just don't want to expose my children to someone and then tear it away from them if it doesn't work out between the three of us. I hope this all makes sense. Another thing? My husband said that we may be getting ahead of ourselves here. He was saying that things might change after I have been with a woman sexually. He said: "You don't even know if you like it yet" which got me thinking. If I kissed her, and such...and it turned me on, why wouldn't I like the rest of it? If I didn’t like being with her sexually, would it hinder a poly relationship between us? Is it a requirement for all three people to be sexual with each other to be considered a poly relationship? Her ex knows many people in this town and at the moment, they have a mutual agreement concerning their son. They were never married and have been fully separated for about a year now, just interacting when it concerns their son, but I wouldn't want to do anything that could possibly give him power to get full custody. (He wouldn't be able to handle his son full time anyway, but I don't know what type of feelings he still has for and towards her). I am super shy and I just don't know if I could make a move first. I have been asking all these questions and my husband, who isn't shy, was saying that we should ask her. She is shy too, so reading her is hard. I am still a little confused with the responses. IvoryTowers, you say talk to her and ncmd_couple, you say continue the relationship and see where it goes. Do we ask her straight out or do we just hang out like we've been doing? I'm afraid that if we just keep hanging out, the door will be closed, and the other fear is losing the friendship if we ask her...