[The Fuse]

Interesting responses so far.

I posted about three different couples on purpose -- one extremely overweight, one "average" couple, and one attractive couple (though they were somewhat older than the average party-goer). Each couple seemed like both halves were just uncomfortable in the party situation. I can only speculate that for the overweight couple, their size had something to do with their discomfort. The other two couples would not have had that problem.

I talked to the male half of the overweight couple briefly, and made a point to have a short conversation with the average couple, saying it was nice to see them again, and bringing up mutual friends, where we'd met before, etc. We weren't interested in either of these two couples, and Chicup is right -- I wanted to be friendly and hoped that they would have a good time, but didn't want the friendliness to be taken as a proposition or as encouragement to stick to us.

Personally, I think social awkwardness, shyness and fear of rejection strikes people at both ends of the looks spectrum. The attractive couple at the hotel party may have been first timers. I don't know, because I never did go talk to them. But they just seemed shy and afraid in general, and frankly it seemed like it would have been a bit of a chore to be friendly. I saw them a few times across the room that evening, but didn't see them talking to anyone at all.

My husband is one of the good-looking people who are pretty hopeless when it comes to meeting people and indicating interest. I am lucky to have him in many ways, but he is lucky to have a wife who is more outgoing. I am actually somewhat shy but I am friendly in spite of it. If I didn't take on that active role, nothing would ever happen for us, in swinging or in life. He and I would be one of the couples I'm writing about in this thread. That's part of why I care -- because I see us, in the people we see struggling. When one half of a couple can overcome, it is so much easier. When neither half can, they have a difficult time.