You definately don't need your gut to tell you that this guy is pushing to take things further. What bothers me is that from the sounds of it not even his wife is ready for that but he is pushing anyway. If he has that little care for his wife's feelings then he would have even less for yours.
I agree with the "extremists", you may want to do more than just talk to him. It might be time to find new playmates.
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