Hi Rayna and
to the swinger's board!!
Quote:
|
I'm hoping I can get a little more advice from the women here in letting myself go and taking the plunge that I know is right for us.
|
Before you let yourself go, make sure you're ready. Make sure you're both ready. Like someone mentioned before, sit and have coffee, at the kitchen table, without distraction and talk about what you're both looking for.
Come up with some boundaries you're both comfortable with. I want to add that your marriage sounds very healthy.
Your husband sounds a lot like mine when we first started... bringing porn in, trying new things and I knew he'd never steer me wrong... He never has and I knew he never would, yet it was hard to venture into this new lifestyle.
Quote:
|
But if it had depended on me, we'd probably still be having missionary sex once a week. I still can't share my sexual feelings and fantasies. While my husband has been able to sense the way to my lust and I am delighted he has, I am very frustrated that I am not letting myself fully participate. Whether it is just ex-Catholic inhibition, fear, shyness or what, I have been unable to tell him how much I want to take the next step.
|
Here is where you sound kinda like me.
Growing up Catholic messes with your conscience and the feelings of guilt are almost overwhelming. Since we've both worked past our past Catholic life, we're having a great time. But, this is where honest communication comes in and you really do have to discuss this with him before you can start this new adventure. There really is nothing to fear. I found this out myself. I'd always thought about things, but never really could bring myself to talk about it. In a million years, I'd never thought we could have gotten closer, but after talking about it and being open and honest about our feelings, I was so wrong. Our communication skills have jumped to a new level and we're able to talk to each other about anything!
Swinging is pretty much about great communication and a great deal of respect and trust. Sounds like you have it all. Talk to your husband, or as many have said, write him a letter or show him this post. Research this board and read more threads about how to get started. (this is how we started.)
Please, let us know things go, and please feel free to ask questions as they come up.