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Originally Posted by Miss_Piggy  Maybe there is something about secondaries feeling more unstable or less commited or something like that. I mean, with your primary partner you have all sorts of ties together (which have that side benefit of offering some security).
The secondary isn't as tied in, making is easier for him or her to leave you should there be even very small difficulties. |
Miss_Piggy and Menage_a_Trois both explained this really well. The same indepth ties to a commitment are not locked in.
One thing others have not mentioned is the stage of the relationships with secondaries. Generally, relationships with secondaries are still in the infatuation stage. I believe that people are more jellous of their lovers in this stage. It last for 1.5 to 3 years typically in a 1 on 1 relationship, but loving more than one person at the same time can draw out infatuation over a longer period of time.
Also, in the infatuation phase you are more likely to still be trying to win your secondary over. It may be subconcious, but this mode of winning over your lover is likely to be more open to jelousy.
You are not still trying to win your primary over, so that is so much easier. When I say still trying, I mean you might be in a maintenance phase of winning that person over, even if you don't realize it.