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iapr · 12-07-2008, 10:49 AM

Ok so now lets talk about this alcohol issue. I think the fact that you have pointed out the alcohol at so many points tells me that you believe she has a drinking problem and if you think she has a drinking problem she does whether she passes or fails a standardized alcoholism assessment or not.

From your descriptions it sounds like alcohol is a major playing in a lot of things regarding your sex life in general as well as this issue about fantasizing about other women. This is a very problematic issue that goes deeper than just needing a drink or two to loosen up.

The fact that you state you/she consumes alcohol 3-4 times a week means she is probably really doing it daily even though she may not be falling down drunk or even showing any outwards signs of alcoholism.

I also don't think it is coincidence that you state you/she drinks 3-4 times a week and you have sex 3-4 times a week. Alcohol appears to be a big factor in your sexual dynamic as a couple and that is always a problem.

Here's a big issue, if either of you does have a drinking problem this is going to blow up to disasterous levels in very short order. People say and do things and react to things while under the influence that they never would while sober. If there is something that you wouldn't do while stone-cold sober, the chances are you shouldn't do it ever. The fact that she "needs" alcohol to talk about these things and to feel certain ways and to do certain things is highly dysfunctional and pathologic.

If she is an alcoholic then she is in a pathologic state 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. She is not firing on all cylinders and she is not thinking straight or reacting to her surroundings in an appropriate manner. If you were to do a CAT scan of a normal healthy brain and an alcoholic brain, they are different physiologically. Alcohol is a toxin and her brain is under the infuence of a brain damaging poison and so she does not think rationally, does not experience normal feelings appropriately and does not react to things in an appropriate manner.

If you even slightly suspect that either of you is thinking about things or feeling certain things while under the influence of alcohol or other intoxicants and you can't talk about these things or want to pursue them while sober the for GOD'S SAKE DO NOT, REPEAT DO NOT proceed with any thoughts of bringing someone else into your bedroom!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you want to have some semblence of sanity and happiness in your life, you need to address these issues completely before you even think of trying to get her to mash flesh with some other chick.

12-07-2008, 10:49 AM	#7 (permalink)
iapr Has Left the Building Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 832 Location: State of bliss Status: couple	Re: Just the facts. Need your advice. Ok so now lets talk about this alcohol issue. I think the fact that you have pointed out the alcohol at so many points tells me that you believe she has a drinking problem and if you think she has a drinking problem she does whether she passes or fails a standardized alcoholism assessment or not. From your descriptions it sounds like alcohol is a major playing in a lot of things regarding your sex life in general as well as this issue about fantasizing about other women. This is a very problematic issue that goes deeper than just needing a drink or two to loosen up. The fact that you state you/she consumes alcohol 3-4 times a week means she is probably really doing it daily even though she may not be falling down drunk or even showing any outwards signs of alcoholism. I also don't think it is coincidence that you state you/she drinks 3-4 times a week and you have sex 3-4 times a week. Alcohol appears to be a big factor in your sexual dynamic as a couple and that is always a problem. Here's a big issue, if either of you does have a drinking problem this is going to blow up to disasterous levels in very short order. People say and do things and react to things while under the influence that they never would while sober. If there is something that you wouldn't do while stone-cold sober, the chances are you shouldn't do it ever. The fact that she "needs" alcohol to talk about these things and to feel certain ways and to do certain things is highly dysfunctional and pathologic. If she is an alcoholic then she is in a pathologic state 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. She is not firing on all cylinders and she is not thinking straight or reacting to her surroundings in an appropriate manner. If you were to do a CAT scan of a normal healthy brain and an alcoholic brain, they are different physiologically. Alcohol is a toxin and her brain is under the infuence of a brain damaging poison and so she does not think rationally, does not experience normal feelings appropriately and does not react to things in an appropriate manner. If you even slightly suspect that either of you is thinking about things or feeling certain things while under the influence of alcohol or other intoxicants and you can't talk about these things or want to pursue them while sober the for GOD'S SAKE DO NOT, REPEAT DO NOT proceed with any thoughts of bringing someone else into your bedroom!!!!!!!!!!!! If you want to have some semblence of sanity and happiness in your life, you need to address these issues completely before you even think of trying to get her to mash flesh with some other chick.