If you are asking for help in understanding what goes on in a woman's head you are definately asking for the impossible
But all joking aside you do have some issues here and some red flags. For better or for worse your swinging situation and your play dynamics have changed dramatically. You have spent 5 1/2 years playing a certain way and now that situation has changed a lot. In essence you have become a different person than what she is used to and that can be very threatening and disturbing to anyone. To you it's good news. But obviously she is having some adjustment issues.
Going from a limp-dick who sits in the corner and watches while she gets all the glory to becoming a flirty and fully functioning ladies man is a very big jump. You have essentially hit the "RESET" button and now you have a completely different operation going on.
That big of a change even though it is a positive one will still need an adjustment period and reguire going back to the drawing board to come up with a new game plan.
In many regards you have now become a newbie couple and you may have to go back to pretty much square one again and come up with a whole different set of rules and guidelines.
As far as the "understanding" issue goes I think you need to understand that your wife became comfortable with you sitting in the corner and not actively playing with other women and now she is having some issues adjusting. All of us full-swap couples have had to come to terms with watching our partners fuck other people. she has had 51/2 years of not dealing with that and now she has suddenly come face to face with it.
I'm not pointing all fingers at you however. She also needs to give a little and meet you halfway here. she needs to show a little understanding and accomidation too. It's not just all about her anymore and now you are finally getting in the game. In many ways she should be the one writing to all of us here in asking how she can become more understanding and a better team player.
In many ways you are just like a newbie couple that is having their first talks about swinging and you have to assure her that you are in this for the two of you together and she needs to face up to that fact as well and should step out of her box a bit. She has had a 51/2 year free pass where it is all about her and now it is time explore some new facets of swinging.