First off
to the board!
When you say you play with the other female, does your guy get to touch her? Or is it just you and her and then the guys playing with their own partners?
If it's the latter then there shouldn't be any pressure anywhere or an issue, as there are quite a few couples around who play this way. If on the other hand, you are expecting a couple to join you and alllow you to have free play with the woman while the man sits out and only plays with her as well... you may be asking for a bit much. I know that there are couples who would be perfectly fine with this scenario but they are not the majority. I guess you have to turn it around on yourselves and ask how likely you'd be to play that way? How would your guy feel if everyone was playing with you and he got nothing?