[sexcupid]

I think one of the main problems (besides the cheating friend) is that you had a very specific scenario in mind and when it didn't play out the way you wanted it to you weren't happy. Going in with too many expectations or a very specific fantasy can lead to disappointment. I mean, even if your wife was aware of the very specific scenario that you had planned out, she obviously got caught up in the moment.

As for your wife, sure...one on one play is most people's primary mode of having sex and trying to figure out the logistics of adding the third person in can be overwhelming. I mean, some folks do develop 'tunnel vision' in what they are doing and fail to notice anything is amiss unless you say something.

Only the two of you can figure out where your comfort levels lie as far as playing alone and continuing on with the swinging (with actual swingers).

And what the hell were you thinking of playing where there were kids around?!? That is a huge peeve of mine (particuarly if they are awake and can try to barge in/interrupt things).