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Originally Posted by jonelle514  Hi, we are pretty new to lifestyle. We have been married 11 years and have two kids. We currently live in FL. I am 30 and he is 33. So far we are still trying to get our feet wet. I am still a little hesitant in doing a full swap, but he is all for it. I do feel that if I give him the okay to do it that I will be taking one for the team, plus his actions with the female make me uncomfortable. I look forward to getting to know people on this site as I have a million questions LOL. |
First, a big big
Second, it is not uncommon for the male half of a couple to be considerably more ready for swinging than the female half. I would recommend you do not take his readiness as anything other than normal.
What you should not accept, and your husband should never consider doing, is pressuring you into doing anything...anything...in swinging. You should feel yourself ready and wanting to do something. It is normal for you to have trepidations about doing something in the lifestyle. Do not mistake trepidations for not being ready or not wanting to do something. People usually have trepidations about ANYthing they are doing for the first time. You have to evaluate for yourself when you are ready. Your husband should not be evaluating for you or pressure you into accepting more than you are ready for.
In our couple, the basic ground rule is that we only do what we both agree on doing, and we're not going to take one for the team. If we both don't agree on doing something, it isn't going to happen. Period. That goes both ways, applies to both of us equally. Both of us can pull the plug at any time, for any reason. I'd suggest a similar rule for you and your husband.
To get your feet wet, you do not have to full swap. You can attend a swing club, or a meet and greet, and just meet people who are in the lifestyle. You'll rapidly find that we're not freaks
just regular, average, every day people except we do not place limits on sexuality.
If you want to do more, but not full swap, then have same room sex with another couple, or soft swap, or various permutations thereof. You don't have to do anything you're not ready for. If anyone (your husband or anyone else for that matter) pressures you, the answer should be no.
Feel free to ask lots and lots and lots of questions here. The people here are very welcoming and receptive. We'll give you honest advice. Even if you think a question has been asked before, feel free to ask.