I blogged recently about this under the title
Men vs Women and finding partners in open relationships. It can be hard both ways. I did not get into the finding another male thing too much in that blog because that is a subject on it's own. It is hard to find another guy that "gets it". Most only want to non-committed sex with your partner; a fuck em' and forget em' thing. It seems many guys looking to get with couples are thinking with their dick and nothing else (which is why
Uomo's post is so great, he verbalized it very well).
For us it is important that our thirds are also our primary's friend. We want to be a group, not just someone one of us sees alone all the time and the other never gets to know them. And we also have seen many poly relationships this way.
All I can say is "keep looking, eventually you'll find the right guy".
Mr. WS