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Originally Posted by midnightplayer  I am pleased with this post and I agree with everyone on here that indicated you can't force anyone into swinging. The dilima I am in is that my wife seems to have shut down all of her sexual interest. I can not get her to discuss our own sexual play in the bedroom the next day. I can't get her to discuss any of her sexual fantacies, or anything about her sexual needs. Seems she doesn't have any. All that being said I respect her lack of interest, some women just loose sexual interests as they go through menopause and some women go the other way and become raging nymphs. Most of my male friends accept the lack of sexual play as a normal aging process. Not me I am going to the nursing home kicking and screaming no not yet.
I will respect her desire to not play or to play only when "she" thinks I need to get my nuts off. But that is not going to be how I want to lead my life. I want to have a very active and sensual sex life. So we have only a limited number of choices. 1. Remain this way and she is happy and I am miserable. 2. She accepts the chance of swinging with me and opening up her horizons to new sexual play. It is just sex. 3. We remain married and we morph into an open marriage and she has her vanilla friends, we have our mutual vanilla friends, we muturally socialize my swinging friends that she might enjoy without sex, and I have my swinging friends that I get naked with. Oh I am into couples not looking for a gf. 4. Lastly, we need to separate and have an orderly divorce and we go our separate ways and lead our lives as we see fit.
This is what I and many many husbands have to deal with when the wife is in a position that limits our enjoyment of life. Thanks for the post very thought provoking |
I agree with pervgeeks in that this is not a swinging issue but rather a relationship issue and may or may not be at all related to the OP.
Menopause and the aging process may affect the libido in a number of ways but a lack of desire for love, closeness, warmth, affection, companionship and even sexual contact is NOT a normal part of the aging process. The desire for those things are taken to the grave.
What you are describing is probably a relationship issue and if there are problems within the relationship even bringing up the topic of swinging will have a profoundly negative impact.
She surely already knows you are dissatisfied with your sexlife at home (it may even be intentional) and if you start suggesting you bring other people into your bedroom to satisfy your needs it will be like throwing gas on the fire.
During problems in the relationship you need to turn inward into the relationship for resolution and not turn outwards to look for quick fixes on the outside.