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Originally Posted by midnightplayer  I am pleased with this post and I agree with everyone on here that indicated you can't force anyone into swinging. The dilima I am in is that my wife seems to have shut down all of her sexual interest. I can not get her to discuss our own sexual play in the bedroom the next day. I can't get her to discuss any of her sexual fantacies, or anything about her sexual needs. Seems she doesn't have any. All that being said I respect her lack of interest, some women just loose sexual interests as they go through menopause and some women go the other way and become raging nymphs. Most of my male friends accept the lack of sexual play as a normal aging process. Not me I am going to the nursing home kicking and screaming no not yet.
I will respect her desire to not play or to play only when "she" thinks I need to get my nuts off. But that is not going to be how I want to lead my life. I want to have a very active and sensual sex life. So we have only a limited number of choices. 1. Remain this way and she is happy and I am miserable. 2. She accepts the chance of swinging with me and opening up her horizons to new sexual play. It is just sex. 3. We remain married and we morph into an open marriage and she has her vanilla friends, we have our mutual vanilla friends, we muturally socialize my swinging friends that she might enjoy without sex, and I have my swinging friends that I get naked with. Oh I am into couples not looking for a gf. 4. Lastly, we need to separate and have an orderly divorce and we go our separate ways and lead our lives as we see fit.
This is what I and many many husbands have to deal with when the wife is in a position that limits our enjoyment of life. Thanks for the post very thought provoking |
From the sound of your issue, it's not a swinging type of problem. Is your wife willing to go to her doctor and perhaps do something to adjust her hormone levels? If it's physiological, things can be done. If it's emotional or some combination thereof, is she willing to go to couples counseling or sex therapy?
In all honesty, what would be in this for another couple? My husband brings his wife to the table (me) who's sexually enthusiastic and fun (whom we are both happily in love) and in return we get....
Marital discord and no female partner in return.
Swinging is a couples thing for secure, in love couples to enhance our sex lives (and perhaps meet some new, like-minded friends in the process). It's not a gift to the the guys out there who "aren't getting any". We empathize with your problem as we were both in prior marriages with people we weren't sexually compatible with, but step outside of your issue a little and understand that what you are seeking isn't what the lifestyle is about.