[jjtrindc]

We have to agree with the original poster. As soon as a play situation seems to be diverting away from where you are uncomfortable, or you sense that your partner is uncomfortable, it's time to call for a quick timeout. At this point, you should be polite to the others involved, but if they are true lifestlyle people they will understand and not be offended. Everyone should want to make sure that everyone else is comfortable. If not, there is no reason to be playing with them.

Now it's up to you whether MFM's are off the table, but that should happen after a long discussion with your wife. In a party situation, one partner can easily get so into the situation that they may not necessarily realize that there is a problem. We are giving your wife the benefit of the doubt there, but only you two will know the real situation after communicating about that scenario and your rules going forward.

Good luck.