[jjtrindc]

First off, good for you two for looking at the situation objectively and working through it. We think that says a lot about you as a couple and the strength of your marriage. I think the others are absolutely correct in that you got caught in a bad situation by an aggressive man. It's too bad because you'll quickly find that 95% of the men in the lifestyle are very nice and respectful. There is a common phrase that the lifestyle is run by woman and most of us firmly believe that.

One piece of advice. Have ground rules before you go into a club or party covering what you will and will not do or the fact that you only play with your partner visible to you. Stick to them. Not only will that mean that you will avoid any issues with your partner, but having firm ground rules gives you the reason you need to stand firm against an aggressive man (or woman...and yes they are out there too). If a situation is progressing to a point where you are uncomfortable, then you simply state "I'm sorry, I don't do that or I'd be more comfortable if my husband was here." If the person tries to convince you otherwise then that's the alarm bell you need to walk away. That person doesn't respect you or your boundaries. If for some reason they follow you or keep at it, make a direct line to the club owner, bouncer, host and report them. You will be doing yourself and everyone else there a favor.

Good luck in future encounters!