[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by JKlovers

My hubby and I are still just talking about swinging at this point and haven't experienced it yet (well he has in previous relationships but not with me).

I've been kind of following where your coming from. I'm not stalking ya, but I have been listening

Here's the thing. I am a hypochondriac. Not to get into my sob stories, but I lost most of my family to cancer when I was very young and only have 2 surviving relatives (one of which is living with cancer). It has messed me up the head and I worry about diseases constantly (mostly HIV and Hepititis because they are terminal).

I am sorry for your loss. I do understand. I can say I have met many people in the lifestyle who could share your grief. I have to say I like your viewpoint on allot of your posts. You don't seem so messed up in the head to me. Seems like maybe you cope with issues well. Or at least give circumstances a good look.

I could tell you about a few things personally, about some trauma I experianced... Dealt with and live with.. but this is about you, not me . Being a hypochondriac doesn't sound like to bad of a thing to deal with to me. Unless its severe...... I mean your o.k. with touching door knobs and things..... right. I mean, you can be o.k. with touching people.

Those two things would hamper swinging for sure .

I would love to get into the swinging lifestyle but worry that my hypochondriac ways will ruin the experience for me.

Then why not look for playmates that understand how you feel. I could find many people who share the protection rule. I think you have to realize your own control. In order to have that, your going to have to be able to express your feelings with your husband and any future playmates. I mean, were swingers. We wouldn't want you to be faking any enjoyment hiding the fact that you think we have cuties or worse. We would be the ones walking away thinking, What the hell did we do

My husband is the complete opposite of me. He is a risk taker and lives life on the edge. He hates condoms and rarely wore them in the past (even when he engaged in sex with other men). He had threesomes in the past where he was the guest appearance with other married couples. He never wore protection and apparently the other couples didn't mind since they were older and the wives had their tubes tied (my husband is not fixed).

I don't know all the stats about std's so much. They kind of boggle me and hamper the fun when I think about them. But I will agree your husband is a bigger risk taker than you. And..... possibly even me.

I see it as I would would be O.k. with condoms. Mrs.fun wouldn't ask your hubby to were one. She would tell him to do so.... Until we felt comfortable enough between all 4 of us.

I am on birth control (the pill), but i'm still very young and in my reproductive years. We already have a lot of children and don't want anymore. I would NOT be comfortable with another man cuming in me.

Would you be comfortable telling a man that ? I think you should. You may find men that can control everything. But honestly I can talk about cumming with a play partner. It's what we are hopefully in this for. I'm a simple person I can handle pulling out. But when I'm cumming I don't have real good aim at that point . I kind of go crazy in my own world.
I know I'm not alone on this. Unless your cumming at the exact time, you have to work with a guy. Aiming or deflecting maybe even dodging is up to you. See what I mean, you do need to be fully aware of your comfort zone. There will be a few guys like me that need good communication.

It just would not happen. I would be such a nervous wreck over it that I know it would spoil the experience for me. My husband's biggest fantasy is having another man cum in me, and then having sex with me afterwards. Since I dont want that to happen, then there really is no point to us swinging.

Well, there again you need to find your ground to stand on and then decide if you can let others join you. Its not impossible, but its your choice.

I feel bad because I know that is his biggest fantasy (along with he would also like to cum in other older women who can no longer have children), but I am not really comfortable with that either.

Its like you say, your just thinking about how you feel. Everyones entitled.

I mean it doesn't make much sense if I'm practicing safe sex, and then my husband is beside me having unsafe sex and then having sex with me later.

What kind of sense should it make ? We all have to be somewhere...... right.

So, have any of you dealt with this issue of one partner being okay with unprotected sex but not the other? To me this is pretty much a deal breaker because I don't ever see my thoughts changing, but I just cannot see my husband agreeing to wearing a condom

You guys will have to work this out. Its the only way. I know for us we went back and forth a few times till we found our comfort zone. Even there, it about us.