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Originally Posted by JKlovers  So, have any of you dealt with this issue of one partner being okay with unprotected sex but not the other? To me this is pretty much a deal breaker because I don't ever see my thoughts changing, but I just cannot see my husband agreeing to wearing a condom. |
If you can't come to an agreement about the use of condoms, then penetrative sex is out. At least, that's how my wife and I would handle it if it came to that, but it wouldn't with us. We'd still full swap, but with condoms as our rule is we play by the more restrictive of what either of us accepts.
This doesn't mean you can't swing. There's plenty of couples that only soft swap; giving and receiving oral sex and watching your husband do the same can be highly erotic, and very fun. That's just one possible permutation. There's a zillion things people can do to and for each other without actual penetrative sex.
So, consider soft swapping until you can come to an agreement on condom usage.
Personally, from a strictly cave-man male perspective, if my spouse said "yeah you can have sex with her, but you have to use a condom" I wouldn't turn down sex just because I had to wear a condom. Most guys would leap at the chance! For a few years (and for reasons not relevant to this discussion) my wife and I had to use condoms. I sure as heck wasn't going to go years without having sex with her just because I had to wear a condom!!!