The Swingers Board - View Single Post - We Have Different Opinions About Safe Sex

JKlovers · 09-26-2008, 09:32 PM

My hubby and I are still just talking about swinging at this point and haven't experienced it yet (well he has in previous relationships but not with me).

Here's the thing. I am a hypochondriac. Not to get into my sob stories, but I lost most of my family to cancer when I was very young and only have 2 surviving relatives (one of which is living with cancer). It has messed me up the head and I worry about diseases constantly (mostly HIV and Hepititis because they are terminal).

I would love to get into the swinging lifestyle but worry that my hypochondriac ways will ruin the experience for me. My husband is the complete opposite of me. He is a risk taker and lives life on the edge. He hates condoms and rarely wore them in the past (even when he engaged in sex with other men). He had threesomes in the past where he was the guest appearance with other married couples. He never wore protection and apparently the other couples didn't mind since they were older and the wives had their tubes tied (my husband is not fixed).

I am on birth control (the pill), but i'm still very young and in my reproductive years. We already have a lot of children and dont want anymore. I would NOT be comfortable with another man cuming in me. It just would not happen. I would be such a nervous wreck over it that I know it would spoil the experience for me. My husband's biggest fantasy is having another man cum in me, and then having sex with me afterwards. Since I dont want that to happen, then there really is no point to us swinging. I feel bad because I know that is his biggest fantasy (along with he would also like to cum in other older women who can no longer have children), but I am not really comfortable with that either.

I mean it doesn't make much sense if I'm practicing safe sex, and then my husband is beside me having unsafe sex and then having sex with me later.

So, have any of you dealt with this issue of one partner being okay with unprotected sex but not the other? To me this is pretty much a deal breaker because I don't ever see my thoughts changing, but I just cannot see my husband agreeing to wearing a condom.

09-26-2008, 09:32 PM	#1 (permalink)
JKlovers Here to Stay Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 23 Location: West Coast Status: Couple	We Have Different Opinions About Safe Sex My hubby and I are still just talking about swinging at this point and haven't experienced it yet (well he has in previous relationships but not with me). Here's the thing. I am a hypochondriac. Not to get into my sob stories, but I lost most of my family to cancer when I was very young and only have 2 surviving relatives (one of which is living with cancer). It has messed me up the head and I worry about diseases constantly (mostly HIV and Hepititis because they are terminal). I would love to get into the swinging lifestyle but worry that my hypochondriac ways will ruin the experience for me. My husband is the complete opposite of me. He is a risk taker and lives life on the edge. He hates condoms and rarely wore them in the past (even when he engaged in sex with other men). He had threesomes in the past where he was the guest appearance with other married couples. He never wore protection and apparently the other couples didn't mind since they were older and the wives had their tubes tied (my husband is not fixed). I am on birth control (the pill), but i'm still very young and in my reproductive years. We already have a lot of children and dont want anymore. I would NOT be comfortable with another man cuming in me. It just would not happen. I would be such a nervous wreck over it that I know it would spoil the experience for me. My husband's biggest fantasy is having another man cum in me, and then having sex with me afterwards. Since I dont want that to happen, then there really is no point to us swinging. I feel bad because I know that is his biggest fantasy (along with he would also like to cum in other older women who can no longer have children), but I am not really comfortable with that either. I mean it doesn't make much sense if I'm practicing safe sex, and then my husband is beside me having unsafe sex and then having sex with me later. So, have any of you dealt with this issue of one partner being okay with unprotected sex but not the other? To me this is pretty much a deal breaker because I don't ever see my thoughts changing, but I just cannot see my husband agreeing to wearing a condom.