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Originally Posted by WesternSwing  First off, from my point of view, if you can't discuss who turns you on and who doesn't with your partner, and have them happily accept that and be happy for you, than you really shouldn't be considering swinging at all.
Second, I think there are many here that will back me up when I say: Don't shit where you eat. Mixing work and swinging can turn ugly and can result in the loss of your job. |
i have no problem talking about it with her and she didn't react badly to it. i just think the impression she gave is that because i've felt that way for so long and never said anything to her about it that it was a little weird... like she thought me keeping it a "secret" that long meant i felt something for the blonde. i guess i haven't been one to just go around telling my wife what i like about other women... well not until recently that is... until she expressed her desire to swing which opened me up to expressing myself more.... so i guess this is just something we haven't dealt with but she said she had no problem involving women that i was attracted to and thank goodness because, yes, what would be the point of doing this if there was no attraction to the third party.
I am reluctant to get involved with anyone i know personally that i didn't know was into the lifestyle prior to knowing them... especially when it involves people i work in the same building with because who's to say how they will react and, yes, those kind of things can get ugly.
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Originally Posted by ic7175 With as much as you've thought about it with nothing happening, say you go to the wedding and your wife just happens to pick out the hot blonde and you all get together and THEN you have to decide whether to tell your wife? How much would it tear you up inside trying to decide whether (and how) to tell your wife after the fact? |
which is exactly what i was thinking. in the highly unlikely chance she'd pick the same girl out i think i would be obligated to tell her at that time prior to doing anything... maybe it would be a turn on for her or maybe not. which i guess would be the deciding factor on if anything were to continue. but i would certainly need to get any uncomfortable feelings out of the way before just being selfish and trying to indulge my fantasy without thinking of the consequences.