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Originally Posted by iapr  This post is going to use a lot of labels and steriotypes in the quest gathering information so please turn off the PC filter and share your thoughts openly and maybe we can all seek some usefull knowledge together. |
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Originally Posted by iapr Before we got into the lifestyle I had a preconcieved notion that the swinger community would be made up primarily of the jock/stud catagory of men and the cheerleader/beauty queen catagory of women. What I have witnessed in real life is far from that. |
I do realize that in my expectations of what I expected to see before I ever went to any lifestyle functions, was also probably a sterotype. However since I've been attending and actually in the lifestyle, most stereotypes have been non-existent or I've not noticed them, because of the broad types of people in the lifestyle. The preconception that you describe isn't exactly the one I had, however my conceptions were also far from what I found to be the situation.
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Originally Posted by iapr Most of the men I have seen have not been smooth talking ladies men at all and have not been players at all or even necessarily that socially comfortable or outgoing. .................. Many of the male halves of couples I have seen have been quite passive if not downright socially awkward and uncomfortable. |
Odly enough I too feel like I sometimes fit into this socially awkward box, as I'm so quiet. But yes I have found that the men and the women in some cases are not totally at ease, although I think it is probably because when people transition back and forth from the vanila to the neopolitan flavored lifestyle, many struggle with it socially (because the expectations of social interaction are often opposites).
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Originally Posted by iapr while many of the single males have fit the jock/stud mold, the single fems I have met in person have been the opposite and many probably struggle for a date in the vanilla world. |
My experience and perception in the lifestyle in the area of physical attractiveness seems quite different, in that I have found that there is probably the same variety of physical attractiveness in the neopolitan world as there is in the vanilla world. I'm a confident and attractive guy, but I've seen people that I look at and I just don't feel that I'm attractive enough for them, and I've seen people at the other end of the spectrum that I don't consider attractive at all.
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Originally Posted by iapr So I guess my question is, are any of your observations similar or different from what I have described? Please share your thoughts and observations on this. I often hear discussions regarding cliques and such within the lifestyle and I am wondering if this is yet another battlefield between the jocks/cheerleaders and the nerds or is the lifestyle a place where the nerds truly do outnumber the jocks? |
It's odd that you ask this. I think for the most part most people in the lifestyle are open to meeting new people, but I do beleive that "cliques" or groups of people that are familiar with, do form.
And, because of these different groups, sometimes it may appear that social circles may not be in competition but sometimes it appears that they aren't in favor mixing their groups. So I get that perception.
I've heard there are some "barbie and ken" (or "Jocks/Beauties) groups that have a mentality of if you aren't a "ken and barbie"/"jock &/or beauty" they don't want to be associated with you. I don't really agree with this mentality, but I also don't think this is the majority of groups that appear to be cliques.
However, mostly I think it is not necessarily a mentality of "we don't associate with people of this behavior or type, as much as it is things that individuals become comfortable with. This is also a common occurence in other areas of life such as politics, religion, and other life social circles. While sex is more common than any other interest in life, I don't think swinging is any more likely not to form cliques than any other social circle because of this one interest. And at times it will appear to be jocks against nerds, but I think most groups or cliques are open to meeting new people. Although as intimidating as it may seem, the outsiders to the group or another group has to make the effort to interact with the groups.
Alright to summarize: There are groups that form in the neopolitan world (just like any social circle), but I don't they are against interaction for the most part (like high school jocks and nerds).