Quote:
Originally Posted by fullsafefun  Thanks for everyones comments. I guess deep down I knew the answers but it helps for others to say what I feel. Because everytime I try to talk about the situation with him I end up somehow feeling I am the one in the wrong for asking to know if (and only if, the details I could care less about) he is with others. We have been friends with benefits for nine years. It started as swinging (he was a part of a couple and since divorced - my husband has been aware of this relationship all along). I now wonder how naive I have been over the nine years. I do use protection when I am with others and was tested last year and will ask for testing at my next doctor's visit (less than a month away). |
Ok, I stand confused. I thought this was your significant other, but it's not; you're married and this fellow isn't your husband.
Even given that, I still wouldn't want to be lied to, especially after you've been playing with this guy for nine years. You shouldn't be made to feel like you're in the wrong for asking a question.
I'd still say that despite the nine years, it might be time to move on from this guy. I realize after so long that emotions have developed, but if he won't entreat with you fairly, it's probably best to move on unless he's willing to not lie to you and decides to treat you fairly.
You might talk it over with your husband too, and see how he feels about it all. He might not like the idea of his wife being treated in this way. My wife and I don't have an open marriage; we're swingers only, but I wouldn't want to see her treated this way.