[fullsafefun]

Thanks for everyones comments. I guess deep down I knew the answers but it helps for others to say what I feel. Because everytime I try to talk about the situation with him I end up somehow feeling I am the one in the wrong for asking to know if (and only if, the details I could care less about) he is with others. We have been friends with benefits for nine years. It started as swinging (he was a part of a couple and since divorced - my husband has been aware of this relationship all along). I now wonder how naive I have been over the nine years. I do use protection when I am with others and was tested last year and will ask for testing at my next doctor's visit (less than a month away).