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Originally Posted by fullsafefun  I have been in an open relationship for several years now. I feel that partners who are not using protection should let their partner know when they start seeing others and having unprotected sex. In my situation the understanding initially was that protection would be used with other people. My partner now states that it is none of my business whether or not he is seeing other people and became very indignant when questioned because I had obtained information that he was lying about not being with anyone else than the one person I knew about. I have told him I don't want to know any details other than if he is, especially since he has shown in the past that even though he says protection is best, he won't use it. How do others think I should proceed with this situation?  I care very much about him. |
There's red flags popping up all over the place on this.
First, he's lying to you. This is a huge red flag. If he's lying to you about having partners other than the one, what else is he lying about? Once you know your partner is lying, trust is broken. Once broken, it's hard to get back. With it broken, everything...everything...becomes suspect.
Second, like heck it's none of your business! He's your partner, and you're in a relationship with him. You have a right to know what's going on. If he doesn't think you do, then he doesn't have a right to you...at all.
Third, if he's not using protection, you have a choice to make. Either demand he use protection with you else no sex or accept the risk that he's bringing home a disease from women unknown to you.
Fourth, as painful as it is, how much you care about him isn't the central issue. There are a zillion men out there, and one who doesn't care about your physical well being isn't exactly the cream of the crop; rather the opposite.
Personally, I wouldn't touch this guy with a mile long pole. This stinks!
