rdy46227

Him about him: Exclusivity always seemed like an unreasonable/unnecessary restriction, imposed because someone was so insecure as to need to control another. In other words, healthy people should be able to conduct themselves rationally to create win-win relationships with many people.

Controlling what you do will not make me happy, and I certainly can't make someone love me. But I can make agreements/commitments that I can keep, and trust certain others to do the same, and communicate/renegotiate/evolve the relationship.

I've always tried to conduct any ongoing non-superficial relationship this way.

I've had simultaneous relationships where there was sexual chemistry, and have been fortunate that my then current web of relationships allowed bringing in sex without negative impact. And other times, I've had to refrain because I wanted to maintain some other relationship which I considered worth more than the sex I'd miss.

Yes, I'm weird and the vast majority of the population says that I'm either lying, crazy, and/or impossibly idealistic.

And yes, people like me are sparse, and I've found several who disappointed me by not being able to hold to my ideal, and I had to adopt the more common "defensive relationship" -- somewhere between "trust but verify" and "watch your back".

Bottom line: poly is a expected occurrence in my philosophy so it was a natural growth path for some of my relationships.