I dont think either of us had to coax the other into anything. When the subject first came up we both were in agreement that it would be something we would like to try. I dont even know how it came up but it actually took a couple years for either of us to act. Now we both actively look at profiles together and seperately but wait to reply until we are together. It is almost like a new hobby. The couples we have met have all been great but we do usaually corespond with the female of the couple. My husband and I have always been very assertive and let each other know what we like and how we like it so it was no big leap to invite others to share part of our physical relationship. I say if you dont ask how will you ever get what you want. I also agree with Roxy though, more women need to find their voices. However, I dont think it really matters who starts anyway as long as you both enjoy what you are doing, and who you are doing it with.
T