We have a thread on "couple's profile reviews"
Couples Profile Reviews If you want some critique of your profile.
Also if you want to leave your last contact message here I am sure we can help critique it.
For the message I would suggest some brevity and make it personal according to their profile. Mention something that is in the profile or maybe the picture that you like. That way they know it is not spam or just a copy and past message. I really dislike those.