The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Need advice on how to deliver a first contact message

arvcpl · 08-30-2008, 11:37 PM

I am curious as to how most of you make a first contact message when you write to a new couple that catches your eye. We have been in an online slump lately and I am just wondering what works for other people because whatever we are doing here lately just isn't working. (ok, I'll admit it, we are in a dry spell again and we'd really like to get out of it)

Usually if we come across a profile we both like we will send a little introductory message and say that we both saw their profile and thought it interested us and we often point out a thing or two that specifically caught our eye and then we invite them to take a look at our profile and let us know either way if they are interested or not. We usually state that if they are interested that we can talk more and see where things go. We then often ask for a simple 'thanks but no thanks' if they are not interested.

Here lately we send out messages and don't get a thing in return at all. We have been on a variety of sites for a couple years so it's not like we are greenhorns or freaking out over a few dead-ends here and there. But what I am wondering if instead of pussyfooting around and trying to be all nicey-nice if maybe we should be a little more direct and state that we would be interested in meeting them and suggest a somewhat specific time and activity (ie next weekend for dinner/drinks etc)

Normally we meet people at local club parties but there are a lot of nice people out there that do not do clubs. I am just wondering what kinds of approaches have been the most successfull for you in real life?

We feel that our profile is well written and have decent pictures ( no graphic nudity or play pics) so I don't think our profile is a turnoff. I can't help feeling we are doing something wrong in the approach.

What seems to work best for all of you?

08-30-2008, 11:37 PM	#1 (permalink)
arvcpl Has Left the Building Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 172 Location: Arvada, co Status: couple	Need advice on how to deliver a first contact message I am curious as to how most of you make a first contact message when you write to a new couple that catches your eye. We have been in an online slump lately and I am just wondering what works for other people because whatever we are doing here lately just isn't working. (ok, I'll admit it, we are in a dry spell again and we'd really like to get out of it) Usually if we come across a profile we both like we will send a little introductory message and say that we both saw their profile and thought it interested us and we often point out a thing or two that specifically caught our eye and then we invite them to take a look at our profile and let us know either way if they are interested or not. We usually state that if they are interested that we can talk more and see where things go. We then often ask for a simple 'thanks but no thanks' if they are not interested. Here lately we send out messages and don't get a thing in return at all. We have been on a variety of sites for a couple years so it's not like we are greenhorns or freaking out over a few dead-ends here and there. But what I am wondering if instead of pussyfooting around and trying to be all nicey-nice if maybe we should be a little more direct and state that we would be interested in meeting them and suggest a somewhat specific time and activity (ie next weekend for dinner/drinks etc) Normally we meet people at local club parties but there are a lot of nice people out there that do not do clubs. I am just wondering what kinds of approaches have been the most successfull for you in real life? We feel that our profile is well written and have decent pictures ( no graphic nudity or play pics) so I don't think our profile is a turnoff. I can't help feeling we are doing something wrong in the approach. What seems to work best for all of you?