fun4Ds makes an excellent point, and it is actually what we did. When we first started we made the same assumption and thought the same thing as Opportunists did. Then we met someone who refused to use condoms. After meeting them, and doing the research that resulted in our current view on condom use, we changed our approach. Now when asked, or when we ask someone about condom use we say we prefer to go without but will use them if they prefer. With that approach you would be surprised at how many folks prefer not to use them. In fact, less than twenty percent of the people we meet at the clubs insist that they always require condoms. And this is not a regional thing, we have been to clubs all over the country now, and the percentage is the same.
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Originally Posted by freshcream  I used to work at a sex store and was the resident "scholar". I read every damn book on the subject of sex that I could get my hands on. I know the risks involved and, frankly, I don't want 'em. I barely escaped herpes infection because TWO different previous long-term partners, whom I trusted and with whom I stopped using condoms eventually, chose not to disclose that they were infected until much later in the relationships - after the condoms had been shelved! Thankfully I did not contract, but I shouldn't have been forced to play that particular game of Russian roulette. |
These are the types of statements that scare me, because the fact is, condoms offer little to no protection from contracting herpes. In other words, the false sense of security you place on condoms is allowing you to engage in behavior that you wouldn't if you knew the fact that the condoms are not protecting you. Frankly, regarding Herpes and HPV, condoms should be assumed to provide no protection. If you are worried about someone having either one of those contact transferred, and arguably most common incurable std's, the only safe sex is no sex.