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It was a mfm and it was great. [snip] The only problem is that the experience was bad for my wife.
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Something about this is a little confusing... it was
great except it was
bad?
Best place to look for experienced solo guys are swing sites. Look for guys with multiple certifications from couples who've actually had sex with him. (Couples - not single women. How well a guy does 1-on-1 doesn't have anything to do with how well he'll do with a couple in a MFM.)
Picking guys with certs will go a long way towards helping you avoid guys with performance issues. The guys on CL tend to be wannabees - there are worthwhile playmates to be found there, but they are mixed in with tons of losers. Same is true for the swing sites, if you are talking about the tons of solo guys with no certifications, but guys who are certified tend to be a much better pool of potential playmates.
Inexperienced playmates don't know how they'll perform in an MFM - how can they? There's imagination, and then there is doing. Everyone tends to be more nervous when they are inexperienced, and for guys it often means they won't be able to get or stay erect.