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Particularly for those in a poly relationship where everyone does NOT live together (insight is welcome from all however), is it difficult for you to find time to spend with your OSO? If so, what are some of the ways you've found to help with this?
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I guess most live together, since this thread has been silent?
One question I had for you was what do you mean by "disconnected" regarding Kitten and Gator?
I know that finding a mutually compatible time can be an issue on occasion. Juggling two different peoples' schedules and individual obligations, holidays, friends, family, and even that monthly issue can be a pain. It's sometimes hard after getting together because who knows how long it will be before schedules align again.
One thing that seems to help me is that once I've returned home from a visit, readjusted to home and returned to work is to plan the next visit. Planning, for some reason, really helps me; I like knowing that there something to look forward to out there on the horizon and it's fun to try to find places to go, things to do, and events to see to augment the sex part of things. Luckily, my friend is pretty good about throwing out his available dates so that I can go into my little rituals of planning and researching.
We live in a world where the internet can almost alleviate long distances. The words can reach anywhere. Luckily, I love the internet and its tools. It allows for IM and phone service and e-mail. I like to IM or talk on the phone weekly, and I'm a fan of e-mail as well, and I'll send a few during the week with the more mundane stuff to save the real-time communication for more interesting topics. I feel pretty connected via the IM/phone call/e-mail method, which helps when getting together in person; it minimizes the awkward a little. I look forward to seeing my friend, and of course I like in-person better than e-mail, but I can get by in the meantime through electronic communication.
I can see, with the different dynamics between our situations, how this would be quite hard for you guys. That's a lot of energy, emotional and otherwise, expended trying to maintain your marriages/your quad via a long distance relationship. Trying to have a long distance (for the time being) marriage with someone with whom you crave primacy and closeness and a day-to-day connection must suck.
Have you figured out any tips of your owns since the time you posted your original query?