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I love my wife, but honestly, I am looking to leave her. There are a lot of reasons for this, one being the fact that she wants kids and I do not.
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Sounds like you need to deal with your own household first, before looking to move into another relationship (regardless of whom that relationship will be with). I'm sure it would be preferable to minimize the hurt and dismay your desired actions may cause by starting with your own house and not involving your friend and his wife.
As to the friend and his wife - too bad he's not a Marine, so that the whole concept of "Semper Fi" would fit nicely in this point. In love or not, back off and let them work things out (or not) on their own.