[willyoats]

Like some others, it took me a long time to get over the fact that I like to see my wife make love with other men. I stll don't understand it, but I am well past worrying about it. Just enjoy it.

Regarding letting her go solo at the beginning of your swinging experiences, it's laden with possible problems. Generally speaking, swinging for marrieds is a cooperative affair. And it's not usually with old flames where strong emotions can be rekindled.

It was several years into our swinging career before we did it alone, like when I was out of town. By that time, our understanding of swinging and how we reacted to other partners was well established. There was no possibility of anyone else being a threat to our longterm relationship. It was just sex for fun!

Now I am the only one of us who is still having sex outside the marriage (with the full blessing of my wife who knows that other woman well). But it cold not have worked that way at the beginning of our swinging.