[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by ohash01

I left a 4 year swinging relationship about 6 months ago. I have been out with a couple of nice guys since then. The first one just stopped calling. The second one just told me tonight he couldn't keep seeing me because I'm still friends with some of the people I had swung with in the past and one of the girls is coming into town for a local festival this weekend and he's sure I'd cheat on him. I tried to assure him that none of them are a sexual relationship anymore due to various reasons. Plus, I am not a cheater...never have been, highly doubt I ever will be.

Are you looking to date nice guys for a possible relationship or looking for more of a person to swing with ? Did either of these guys have any prior knowledge of the swinging lifestyle ?

Are any other swinging singles having trouble being honest and keeping good people around to date? How to do you handle this?

I asked a few of our playmates (male and female) about your situation over a few days and all of them said "NOPE" They don't tell vanilla people in the beginning, about us or their past. As a relationship develops they would feel obligated to tell more, if they felt they could handle it.

Mrs.fun says she wouldn't tell anyone anything more about her past, without trust being developed first.

Should I actively TRY to find swingers to date? The problem I see with that is it would limit my options and if I found the love of my life and he said no swinging, that'd be completely okay with me.

This fits in more to my way of thinking. I probably would have ended up a swinger anyhow regardless. I just never had an anti swinger bone in my body or mind as far as I can remember... Go figure

So that leaves me hypothetically dating you I feel like if we were dating and starting out I would and should, respect your privacy. This is about us..not them. I just wouldn't expect you to tell me everything on your own in the beginning. Now, if it came to a point that I were falling in love with you, as the relationship developed and acknowledged that fact. Thats when I would want to know. But thats just me, I can date and be in love with a swinger

I feel like if I kept my past private I wouldn't have these problems, but that would be leaving out a big part of my life that I really enjoyed and that wouldn't make me feel comfortable either...too close to lying by omission.

Hey, Its not like we tell vanilla people everything about our little secret anyhow. Guilty as charged here .

And I certainly won't ditch friends I've known for 4 or 5 years for someone I met a month ago

As we tell our single swinging friends. We understand, they have regular dating lives.

Originally Posted by ohash01

Yeah...that was the big problem. I WANT to be honest with anyone there is dating potential with. I just feel like I got punished for actually being honest.

I don't think they punished you. They ran from something they dont understand as most people do. You have done what you feel you should, as an honest person. They just either don't understand, or they are idiots if you tried to explain. At least by my standards. But, swinging is not for everyone.

Bottom line, Dont tell people right off the bat. Hold off till their is some trust earned.

If you fall in love with a straight vanilla guy....and want to divuldge everything about yourself.... Bring him to the Swingers Board.....