[ktimephoenix]

There are a fair few factors at play. won't all apply to all young couples obviously, but these are a few of the factors i've noticed (we're 25 and 18 BTW).

Sexually experimental - despite what many people think, i've found that it is more mature people that become sexually experimental. bring up anally fingering a guy, or strap on sex, and the younger set normally laugh, treat it as completely freaky, or get all homophobic. the older set generally have an opinion such as "tried it and didn't like it" or "love it".

Length of time in a couple - the biggy. most people my (25) age are really only just starting to learn to trust their friends/spouses implicidly. probably due to the highschool antics and many a failed highschool romance. get to 40, and be with your partner for 15 years, and the trust is much more likely to be there. also the more life experience you have, the more likely you are to A: be able to trust your gut, B: a couple that has raised kids together, bought a house together, and been through thick and thin together are more likely to have both a lasting bond, and communication. younger age set consider "lv u, c u 2nite" via instant messaging good communication.

Maturity... seems obvious, but swinging kinda hinges on discretion and self control in some situations. neither are strong points of the younger set in general.

Sexual expectations. again this is like the experimentation, that it probably flies in the face of "stereotypes"... many young people (women in particular) have a hard time getting past the "sex = love" and the "i should be treated like a princess" ideals. more mature women (and guys) realise they can be royalty AND sexually free. they also realise that sex = sex. the younger girls that go out and get a new guy each night still think that when they find the handsome prince, it's princess/purity time.

Friendship Circles. most of the younger set go out and party in big groups, hang out in big groups. for many, the only way they'd go to a swinger club, even when interested in the lifestyle, would involve the whole set to go, both through fear of being the lone sheep, and because then they wouldn't have to keep it a secret/make excuses why they weren't at their regular that night... and if the group would go, it would turn into a night of connetations and ridicule for most people.... more mature couples generally have a friendship circle that is less rigid (you see your friends when you want to, not every night of the week).

Ego and self centred/ism:- the big one. ever notice that there are more drunk early 20's guys smashing each others face in at the pub, while the older crowd will sit back and have a quiet drink? insecurity, ego and testosterone. in their minds they are THEY deserve the girl, if anyone else speaks to her they're incroaching on their "territory" and it would be "unmasculin" to let the invader have his way with "the" woman... not a psyche that would work swinging. and heaven forbid that your partners lover for the night be bigger/thicker/more muscled/last longer/ make her moan more... instead of either learning a new technique, or being happy that their partner is being forfilled... they feel that they are going to be made a unic...

more young people are single, more older people are coupled off...

young people are more likely to get that thrill of being with a new person out at the vanilla clubs every saturday night, as they are single, and the clubs are a big meat market. if your 40 something, and been married for 15 years, swinging is one way to forfil that need.

also it's a self forfilling cycle too. because there are more older people out there, the younger ones quite often only have the view of mature people as their parents/aunties/authority... and despite what freud says, none of us want to think of our parents in a sexual way.

These are just what we've observed, or overcome ourselves to be a part of the lifestyle.

many of the comments i made about maturity and communication come from knowing my "vanilla" friends, and comparing them to the few young couples out there that are enjoying the lifestyle. for instance, vanilla friend "a" has lived at home all her life, and never really had to deal with the unpleasantness of the world. she has dumped a guy because he prefers burger king over mcdonalds. lifestyle girl "B" has suffered a chronic illness all her life, and as a couple lived through the death of 2 parents, and one of them being treated for cancer. they have THE strongest relationship i know. B is 4 years younger than A... so it's not just age that makes maturity.