Originally Posted by Chicup  True story. My wife has the choice of an MFM or a 4 some this weekend. Its the same guy either way, and I asked her which she would rather have. She would rather have the foursome, and thats with no female bi activities, so thats not the issue. As a couple we like foursomes better, and thats not related to jealousy. Honestly I'd rather have a 4some than a FMF, the dynamics just work better for us.
Now I'm sure jealousy is an issue for some, but our rules are we both play or neither play. Our 3somes are with selected long time friends we have played with as couples before only.
Finally, and this doesn't make me popular with the singles crowd, but really I have to wonder whats up with most singles in the lifestyle. I wonder 'why' they are single, why they choose this lifestyle where at least males are not wanted by so many, and quite frankly whats wrong with them. Rather than find out who is well adjusted we would rather just avoid the lot and that includes single females.
This sounds a bit like bitter single male pity here. If the guy doesn't want to have sex with your partner, you will be turned down. Just as you wouldn't approach a couple where you had no interest in the female. This isn't only ken and barbies its just sex in general.
You are a single male, what rules would you set on your limits? I have no rules for me, I do what I want, my wife on the other hand has some things she isn't comfortable with me doing, and those are 'my rules', its part of why singles and couples are different in swinging.
If we are both not having a good time, neither of us are having a good time. She is not happy if I'm ignored, I'm not happy if she is, as such this really isn't the issue even though to an outsider it may look like shes not playing just because there is nothing for me to gain. Its not me refusing as much as she refusing to leave me in the lurch for her own pleasure.
Occasionally I've seen some adds where the people involved are not very attractive for the swingers sites but over all you are correct in that the adds are about that. That being said MY desire to look better is related to what I am attracted to sexually, and for those women it helps if I'm better looking myself. Were I to change my strike zone a bit, I could have a lot more play partners, but for me its not about numbers, hot or otherwise, but just what I like. I happen to like women who are physically fit and as such they tend to like men who are, so I better be. Its not about bragging rights at all, after all who am I, a married swinger going to brag to? I enjoy the experience, I feel a nice ego boost knowing the woman wants to have sex with me, and I have fond memories of most of my swinging partners, but I respect them too. I don't get a feeling of that respect from you.
I think thats part of the single male turn off. If you are just looking to increase your personal counter by one, to basically use my wife with out respecting our relationship, I don't want you to touch her. She is my wife first, mother of my children, love of my life, not the catch of the day. |