These boards always take a bit of getting use to. i posted this in the wrong forum and it got moved or deleted and i cant for the life of me remember what i wrote, so lets try this again, lol. I tend to be long winded, so bare with me...
My husband and I have been married for 15 years (2 kids) and we have weathered every hurdle you can imagine. We arent exactly at that stage where we would consider ourselves swingers yet, but we are "sharers".
As a young couple there was a lot of jealousy, which if you asked me then if we would ever be at this point i probably would have laughed. It started about 10 years ago, this nagging desire to be with another female. I was bi-curious my whole life but the closer my husband and i became the more i began to wonder what it would be like to have a 3some.
One day i brought up the subject kind of on the sly and we talked about it off and on over the course of the last 5 years. But it wasnt until i actually came clean that it wasnt just about having a threesome for me, that in fact, i was bisexual and wanted to be with another woman that things started happening.
I joined a forum called shybi.com and met a girl who was sparking my interest. My husband was phenomenal, he offered me the opportunity to explore my bi side with her on my own and we did have a very memorable experience. I knew that moment we were together, i would never be the same. It was very addicting, lol.
but i also learned something about myself through all of that, even though i highly enjoyed the experience, something felt OFF about it. I didnt feel right about my husband not being a part of it, even with his permission. For me the whole idea of sharing is for the enjoyment of having that experience with the man i love. so though i love being with a woman, without him, it feels empty. we decided then we would play together or not at all.
something amazing has happened in our relationship since all this began. we are closer than ever before, more connected. There is no jealousy only total trust and its kind of interesting being able to tell eachother when we're attracted to someone else. being out at a club and hitting on women together is an incredible turn on and a lot of fun.
I think my husband was more surprised than anyone how truely OKAY i am with flirting with other girls together and with the idea of watching him with someone else. as ive said, its been several years since we started discussing the subject, we wanted to talk the idea to death (go through all the scenerios, all the rules) to make sure this life is something we really wanted. and it really has brought us closer and made our marriage stronger. i find myself staring at him like i did when we were first dating, he still makes me weak in the knees when he touches me. Its like my sex drive in on overdrive when i look at him. Its funny, there are a lot of women i know who are attracted to my husband, even friends of mine, i laugh and tell him "well if she was into me to, she could have you" and i watch him sometimes and think to myself there is girl out there who is going to be able to share him with me, what a lucky girl indeed. lol.
at one point, i knew we were ready and didnt want to spend our life just TALKING about it. over the past couple years ive come out, so to speak, to my closest friends and i was surprised to find that about 90% of my friends were also bi and even found out that some friends of ours we double date with sometimes are actually swingers. Its so awesome to have someone im close to to be able to talk about these things with. we were so tired of the experience we had with other swingers sites and places like AFF, nobody talks to you there and it seems everyone would be okay with just emailing forever, but we are serious about taking things to the next level. well, this friend of mine told me about SLS. Since joining this place we have already met some extremely nice ppl, gone on a date with a female and are planning on taking a weekend to go out to this swingers party we've been invited to.
We are continuing to take things slow, its important for us to get to know someone first before taking things to the next level, becoming friends and finding out if there really is chemistry there. For us its a gradual thing, one step at a time. We are meeting a few ladies and planning on starting out with a 3some, although we are pretty open minded and have discussed swinging also.
Its a bit intimidating thinking about the both of us showing up at a swingers party not knowing anyone. it feels like HS again going to a party to meet a blind date, lol. but after meeting a woman who hosts one of these parties i learned they really do mean what they say, "no pressure", and youre not expected to play. it takes the load off and gives us the freedom to step out of our comfort zone and see if this is something we'd like to try. for me, im pretty sure its something i would enjoy, for hubby, he wants to take things very slow and start with a threesome and see from there.
The awesome thing about all this, is i am married to an amazing, passionate, gorgeous man whos been very open-minded with my desires. Its like we continue to fall more in love every day. I feel very blessed and happy to be here. I would love for him to join the boards but he doesnt use the computer very often, maybe later he will give it a try, for now i will have to represent the both of us. So i guess i'll end by saying i look forward to getting to know you and look forward to reading everyones posts.
