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Originally Posted by Edison Carter  Susan here-- I have often found that one partner, often the man, speaking negatively about the wife, uses it as a form of control. Control of how the woman is perceived, control of how he wants to be perceived, with neither being effective in manipulating a certain result. The actual result is that the lie of their relationship is exposed and you can join in or not. We always choose not to. |
Very very true. It's something we had noticed with this couple in previous encounters (we never played with them but spent some vanilla time together) and it's why we chose to NOT play with them (along with the lack of attraction for him - which was compounded by his attitude towards her).
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Originally Posted by slevin We definitely watch out for people (men or women) who talk negatively of their spouse. For me, I am very protective of Katrina and whatever problems she and I may have along the path of our relationship are between her and I. I love her to death and would never disrespect her to talk badly of her to other people (swingers or not). Anyone doing that to their spouse is someone I don't want to be involved with at all.
On top of that, I just can't fathom how someone who is in love with their spouse could talk badly of them to other people! It points to some problems not just with the relationship, but with both people personally. |
Amen to this as well. I am always weary of any couple who feels the need to air their laundry to us, or talk negatively about each other in our presence. Every couple has some small issues that they work through and deal with, but those are no one else's business but their own.
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Originally Posted by sweet_tna 
And of course, no matter how much "better" his wife may look now, she probably didn't feel doable before, because she's married to such a jerkasaurus. And ironically, that's precisely what will make them, as a couple un-doable . . .
=) |
When I told Pet about this IM conversation, his initial reaction was "I bet he made her feel that it was her fault that we never played with them". It's entirely possible that he either outright told her that or at least made her feel that way.