Quote:
Originally Posted by Chitowndk4u  Thanks for your words and maybe you can help me out with getting into this lifestyle. I want to ask you how you started?
How old were you?
How did it come up?
Thanks for your input. |
You're welcome!!
To start out with, My husband was 49 and I was 43 when things were brought up. He was the one that brought it up, and even though, for months, he'd talk about another man in our bed, doing a DP or whatever, it was exciting to think about. So one Sunday, we're having a little afternoon delight and right in the middle of it, he says, "Honey, I joined a swinger site" He kept going without missing a beat and I just stopped. I mean I froze. He should have just come right out and told me he wanted to fuck other women because that it really what I heard although it wasn't what he said. In all actuality, that is what he meant, but he thought he'd start out with just saying he'd joined a site and wanted me check it out.
My husband is gone Monday through Friday in the summertimes. So when he left the next morning, I started doing research. Actually, at first, it hurt my feelings that he wanted to fuck someone else. I wasn't mentally fit enough to even want to try to understand why the hell he thought I wasn't enough for him (which was a moot point in our swinging experience).
That whole situation above is what led me to here. I took it upon myself to do my own research and above all, I corresponded with another married male on here to get his feelings of why he wanted to fuck other women and what he wanted to see from his wife. THAT is what helped me understand the most. You see, my husband, wonderful man that he is, is not the greatest of communicators. He couldn't tell quite tell me or get it into words that I could understand the whys of what he was thinking or what he was feeling.
I was up-front and told my husband of my correspondence with my friend on here. I asked him questions about things my friend brought up and it made it easier to answer. I asked with no preconceived notions of what he might say, but if this was going to work, it had to be totally open and honest in all questions and all communication! This was no area for being judgmental or conditional. The more I asked questions, the more open our communication became. Kind of a beautiful thing. I found out a lot of things that I didn't know before.
If you want to know more, just let me know.